Patience or need for plans? Or am i just plain unforgiving?

Recently, i have realised that i am getting more and more impatient. And the one who has been bearing majority of my nonsense is my poor dear dear. I seriously have no idea why. Maybe i need a shrink. Maybe i just need to take a step back and breathe.

Last evening, i met dear dear just before my yoga. We planned to meet at 1930hr as she had lots of work to do recently. I should be glad that she managed to knock off early and meet me at novena. Everything was fine and i was happy until dear dear boarded the train.

This is why...
Trains underground = noisy/lots of background noise
Whispering amidst the noise = inaudible
Being inaudible = lots of confirmation "hello, can you hear me"

Answers in whispers were never heard and finally, i heard a reply. But obviously not too happy with what i heard, i retorted. An exchange of mild fury and we decided to just keep quiet. Somehow, i realised that this isn't the first incident of me being unable to hear what my dear dear was saying when she's on a train. Therefore i suggested something but i'm not sure if she heard it. But it doesn't matter. As long as i know how i can avoid such frictions between us, it's sufficient. It's like, me insisting on waiting for a taxi at a taxi stand.

Spoilt Brat

When two spoilt brats come together, the amount of stubborness put together is enough to drive others crazy. I don't deny that my mum is very very strict with me but somehow, i am still spoilt. Very spoilt in fact. And now that i know, it doesn't make it any better because i know there will still be people who will condone me and my faults. And my only fault is wanting to be constantly pampered. I mean i use to be alright with running errands for others but now, maybe due to the nature of my job that i have to keep doing things for pax, i am not really willing to do it when i am off duty. Unless of course i am either having a 2-3 day break from flight or i stand to gain something from it. Which then leads to....

Am i selfish?

I believe everyone is selfish. Including myself. It is just the extent of it and how we perceive it.
Everyone has their own experiences and examples. Some people might say that others have changed. It might be true and it might not be. It might just be that others find that there is no point or meaning in doing things for others when it is not appreciated or plain taken advantage of. This, is not change. This, is self preservation. It has always been the survival of the fittest and will always be. (I think i sound very aggressive. Hmm..) Therefore, it leads to others weighing their pros and cons before doing things. And others saying that the person has changed or is unforgiving. But have a step been taken back before coming to such a conclusion? Everything that one does, doesn't just affect the person involved. It is like a web. Or the ripples on the surface of the water when a pebble is thrown in.

This is kind of like a circular arguement. Some might agree with me and some might not. But still, one has to admit that what comes around, goes around.

Labels: Life